Movie Trailer Special: Space Battleship Yamato

For people of a certain age (that is, my age), the Japanese anime series Space Battleship Yamato (translated liberally to Star Blazers here in America) remains one of the great sci-fi epics of all time. Indeed, I think it's fair to say that (along with Star Wars on the big screen) Star Blazers introduced a whole generation of kids to the idea of sci-fi. Created in 1974 but not available widely in the U.S. until around 1980, the first season of Star Blazers remains one of the most influential and mature animated series in the history of television, as it told a gripping tale of desperation, romance and even death that has few parallels in the cartoon world even today.

And now it's being turned into a live action film.

Yep, you read that right: Space Battleship Yamato, which fittingly is an all-Japanese production, is slated to hit theaters in Japan on December 1. And while anxious American audiences are still waiting to find out when the (hopefully) inevitable American release will be, fans can now tide themselves over with a look at the first extended length trailer for the film. So grab your wave motion gun, because dude, it is so on right now:





Not awesome enough for you? Okay, well how about this version, which not only has a brief clip of the Wave Motion Gun warming up to fire, but it features the awesome, unforgettable original theme song to boot:





Whew. I need a few minutes to towel off.

Okay then. So how awesome does this look, exactly? I admit that when I first heard they were making a live action version of Star Blazers, I was skeptical to say the least. I especially was unsure if a Japanese production could swing the money necessary for all the special effects. But while this doesn't quite look like Avatar-level CGI, it's perfectly reasonable in a Battlestar Galactica way. So no problem there.

Even better from a fan's point of view, of course, is the obvious devotion to the source material, as it's clearly based very closely on the first season. In the first trailer, for instance we get a shot of Alex Wildstar piloting his doomed battleship at the Battle of Pluto, while in the second trailer we see what appears to be a Gamalon fighter crashing into the side of the Yamato, which is a clear shout-out to one of the most memorable episodes of the original run (where the Gamalon pilot is nursed back to health and returned to his own people, only to be shot down by the Gamalons for being "tainted" by his association with humanity). The whole thing just reeks of authenticity, though it does suffer from Spanish Soap Opera Syndrome, which is the curious phenomenon where actors speaking a language you can't understand always appear to be way overacting.

But, whatever. Just check out this official poster (click on it to make it as huge as it deserves to be):



My Grades: A+. 8-year-old me gives it an A+++++++ times infinity +1. Maybe the coolest thing I have ever seen.

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Movie Trailer Special: Jonah Hex

Fans of DC's classic supernatural western hero Jonah Hex have been talking about movie possibilities for close to 40 years. The character, after all, bears more than a passing resemblence to Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name so it's only logical that back in the 70's, Eastwood was the center of the Hex film speculation. Those days are long gone, of course, but when DC and Warner Bros. announced a year or two ago that they had tapped Josh Brolin for the role, fans were hopeful. Pretty good casting, who knows. Maybe this will be a winner.

The only fly in the ointment? The fact that the film, which is set to open on June 18 (moved up from an original August release date), somehow still hasn't had a trailer released. Think about it: less than two months to go until what is supposedly one of WB's summer tentpoles, and not a single bit of publicity in the form of a teaser or commercial has been released. That's what we in the business call a bad sign, as is the fact that this delay was supposedly due to massive rewrites being filmed post haste by a new director brought on to salavge the project. Again, not the best sign of things to come. How they expect to build buzz for a movie without actually promoting it is a puzzler.

Well, finally -- FINALLY -- Warner Bros. has released their official trailer. Let's take a look at it together and discuss on the other side:





Okay. Where to start. I guess let's look at the positive side of things: as far as trailers go, this isn't a total trainwreck. It gives you the flavor of the film, who the characters are and what the plot is without totally ruining the story. So that's a plus, although I suspect a lack of story to ruin may have played into this approach. Essentially, this is a solid, professional trailer. I did think it was a little heavy with the Quentin Turnbull flashbacks -- the bad guy gets introduced twice, which is probably one more time than strictly necessary -- but while the finished product is a bit chaotic, overall it's fairly effective. If you like this sort of movie, it's saying, than you'll like this, because it's that sort of movie. You dig?

Unfortunately, what this type of movie looks like is a really crappy comic book adapatation that seems to also be channeling the especially rank Will Smith flop Wild Wild West. Brolin looks as though he's doing his best to elevate some serious nonsense -- which is more than I could say for the similarly horrifying Ghost Rider, where Nic Cage just wallowed in it instead -- but based on this trailer, it appears to be a losing effort. Gatling guns? A Q-style weaponsmith crafting anacrhonistic crossbow cannons in his barn? Really, guys?

I'm not going to bother saying anything bad about Megan Fox; the weird thing is, this is probably going to be better than Transformers at least (whoops, that might have been something bad about Megan Fox). But pretty much everything about this trailer makes me want to cry blood. And that's not even getting into some obvious changes they made to the character, which, whatever. It happens. But if they're going to change the dude, it should at least be in service of improving the movie rather than devolving the audience.


My Grades: As a trailer, this gets a B-. Trailer editors can only work with what they are given. For the content, this gets a D, only saved because Brolin still seems like a good choice; the rest of it looks horrible. I so hope I am wrong about this one, but just in case, I am saying my goodbyes to the ten bucks its going to cost me to find out.

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Movie Trailer Special: Interactive Iron Man 2 Video

Okay, I know today was supposed to be a look at the Top 5 Superhero Weddings, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. That's because Marvel has preempted pretty much all existence with the release of maybe the coolest teaser ever, their new 'Iron Man 2' interactive trailer.

Now, before you watch it, you should know up front that the actual footage itself is the same as the last trailer. So what's so cool about it? Well, as this trailer goes along, new Iron Man-style data folders appear along the top of the screen, detailing characters and concepts form the movie. You can then click on these at any time to access those files and look at still photos, schematics and bios about the characters as though you were tapping into the database of the Iron man suit itself. Then, you can punch the video button and the trailer picks right back up where it left off.

And thanks to the many files, you can end up watching those clips in whatever order you like, effectively creating your own Iron man trailer experience. Seriously, check it out: this takes trailers to a whole new level.




How cool is that?

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Movie Trailers: The A-Team vs. The Losers

They're the A-Team, you know they're soldiers of fortune. They're the A-Team, helping people in need. You can pretend that you're Hannibal, Murdock or Face. Or Maybe B. A. Baracus; you know each one is an ace. Yes, folks, it's the A-Team, those paragons of early-80's action cheese who have inexplicably risen to cult status thanks to legions of pre-teen boys who have now managed to grow to adulthood without outgrowing schlock. Don't get me wrong, if you're a fan of A-Team, I understand where you're coming from and even better, I have good news for you: there's a big budget film version coming out this year and I've got the trailer right here to prove it.

But wait! There's more! I know what you're thinking: how could there possibly be more when we already have an A-Team trailer?! But yes, we also have here the new trailer for The Losers. Now, everyone knows that the A-Team is a crack squad of former government operatives who are now on the other side of the law, taking on missions nobody else will while the government tries to put them away for good. But The Losers have their own unique story: a crack squad of former government operative who are now on the other side of the law, these fighting men take on missions nobody else will while the government tries to put them away for good. Only, their main motive is revenge, not altruism. See the difference?

The Losers, of course, is based on the Vertigo Comics title of the same name, which unfortunately has nothing whatsoever to do with the 70's DC war comic that they stole the name from. That was a huge disappointment to me since I am essentially the only living person who purposely put together a full run of Our Fighting Forces featuring The Losers, but for most comics fans they couldn't care less because the Vertigo version was both popular and critically acclaimed. So while I am weeping at the absence of Una from this project and pining away for Capt. Storm's wooden leg, the rest of comicdom is frothing at a chance to see The Losers come to life on the big screen.

So which trailer wins? Will the epic improbability of Liam Neeson as Hannibal manage to outweigh the spectacle of Jeffrey Dean Morgan (i.e. The Comedian from Watchmen) returning for more DC Comics action? Let's find out... NOW!








Okay, take a minute to towel off.

So what do we think? Well, let's star with the A-Team preview first. As trailers go, this one is pretty great. It manages to capture the essence of the original show, nicely introducing and teasing all the classic elements (even the van!) without being too obtuse for younger viewers to follow. Of course, A-Team isn't exactly brain surgery, so the formula is pretty simple, but for my money they nailed it here. I have a weird feeling the film itself is probably going to suck (though not nearly as much as, say, G. I. Joe or the exponentially suckier Transformers), but the trailer is pretty great. And for all those internet people complaining that the tank sequence at the end of the trailer is cheesy: it's the A-Team. That kind of nonsense is exactly what the show was about, love it or hate it. So quitcher bellyaching.

The Losers, on the other hand, is catering to a much smaller built-in audience and I think has to exhibit broader appeal, because most viewers aren't going to be as familiar with the comic as they are with A-Team. With that in mind, the trailer relies less on familiarity with the characters and more on familiarity with the editing style of the clip: with its freeze frames, one-liners and use of graphics, the trailer resembles nothing so much as a cross between Ocean's 13 and Reservoir Dogs. For a certain segment of the audience, of course, that would be a heady mix indeed. I think they went a little too strong on the comedy aspect in the trailer -- the numerous clips of Chris Evans's wisecracking commando began to resemble Ryan Reynolds's excrutiating turn as Hannibal King in Blade III -- but overall I think they've done a pretty good job of making this look like a fun time at the movies. And the presence of current it-girl Zoe Saldana in the cast doesn't hurt either.

My Grades: The A-Team trailer gets, appropriately enough, an A- in terms of catering to its fan base, while it still gets a respectable B for the general public. The Losers also clocks in with a B for me. Though both films are dancing right on the edge of cheesiness, I suspect that A-Team will go headlong over that edge while The Losers might manage to toe the line a little better. Time will tell, but these are both pretty effective trailers overall.

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Movie Trailer Special: Iron Man 2

Okay, so it hasn't been that long since our last batch of Movie Trailer Reviews, but we're going to go right back to the well for a special occasion: the release of the Iron Man 2 trailer.

Yes, after months of speculation, hype and nervous anticipation, the trailer for next May's highly anticipated sequel to Iron Man has finally hit the internet. So how does it look? Well, let's take a peek and then we'll dissect the footage on the other side (p.s., don't be surprised if there's a bit of a load time, since everyone on the internet is trying to download this right now):




Okay. Whew. One sec, need to towel off.

Alright. So, this is a pretty sweet trailer for a few reasons, the most important one being that it teases the film without giving away the whole plotline. Now, if you've also seen the footage screen at Comic Con over the summer, you can probably piece together most of the story, but that's part of what makes this trailer so nice: it functions perfectly well without needing to reference or spoil every single twist or dramatic turnabout. It succeeds by reminding fans of the original why it was successful (the tone, set by Robert Downey, Jr.) and revealing the big supervillain (Mickey Rourke's version of Whiplash) and... that's it. It doesn't need to shoot the whole wad right in the trailer.

It does tease a few other elements for comic fans and sharp-eyed viewers, like Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury (last seen in the after-the-credits tease at the end of the first film, and here appearing in the first of his nine contractually stipulated Marvel films) and Scarlett's Johansson's take on Black Widow, the mere existence of which is about enough to make our head explode.

Not shown in the trailer or even hinted at is the Sam Rockwell's portrayal of Stark's number one rival, Justin Hammer. And that's a good thing, because it means that fans hooked by this preview will still get some surprises when the film comes out (though we're guessing Rockwell will eventually be featured in one trailer or another).

It's not perfect, of course; while Rourke was certainly impressive in Sin City, we're still worried that he's going to ham it up a little too much; the scenes shown here, while not too over the top, don't exactly put that fear to bed either. And on a smaller note, we're not really a fan of the recent trailer technique of putting a clip of crazy mayhem after the rest of the trailer has ended. yes, it can be an effective little visceral hook to end on, but as cool as the scene in this trailer is, it still feels like a bit of a cheesy editing ploy. We're guessing nobody share this feeling, though, so you can probably ignore it as just curmudgeonly grumbling.

Grades: Those little minuses are just personal preference; in terms of effectiveness and composition, we have to give this trailer a solid A. Now, if only someone would release a trailer for Jonah Hex already. We're starting to get a little worried about that one.

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Movie Trailers: Clash of the Titans and More

The holiday season is on us, and that means one thing: shopping. But if it meant two things, the second thing might be new movies, because this is one of the busiest seasons in the cinematic year. And a slew of new blockbuster films means an equally large helping of new trailers, as studios want to get their hot properties for 2010 in front of as many turkey-sated viewers as possible. That, of course, means a third thing -- a batch of new Movie Trailer reviews from the Vault.

As usual, we'll be reviewing how effective and interesting the trailer is first and foremost, and the content of the movie second, as making a good trailer is an art form in and of itself (as the great trailer for the horribly bad Pearl Harbor proved). Up first on this month's docket: the high budget, high profile remake of Clash of the Titans!


Clash of the Titans
Scheduled release date: March 26, 2010

Fans of a certain age will fondly remember the original Clash of the Titans, a sprawling 1981 epic that featured state of the art stop motion special effects that now, of course, could be easily duplicated by a six year old on a iPhone. Still, the movie had a certain je ne sais qois that has endeared it to fantasy lovers over the years.

Well, judging from this preview, it doesn't appear as though effects will be an issue this time around. Dialogue, of course, may be, as evidenced by the oddly jarring modern jargon emnating from the mouth of the legendary Pete Postlethwaite. The editors behind this clip, therefore, were probably wise in making that the only dialogue in the trailer, crafting the rest as what appears to be a frenetic Mastodon music video.

This does have the unfortunate effect of relegating stars (and seeming box office draws) like Liam Neeson to blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameos, but other than that odd choice, this is a pretty effective teaser that should get the younger crowd invested. I guess all those part about plot and character can be fit into a later trailer down the road if for some reason they think that sort of thing is necessary.




My Grades: As a teaser goes, this one is pretty good. I'm not sure about the dialogue, but since there's too little to judge, I'll have to give this an B+. I'd already rather watch this movie than see 300 again, that's for sure.



Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Scheduled release date: May 28, 2010

Looks like we have a theme going: two trailers, two big budget fantasy epics. Unlike Clash of the Titans, though, which features current It-guy Sam Worthington in the lead role, Prince of Persia has made the curious decision to have the googly Jake Gyllenhaal star as its action hero.

So how does that work out? Well, the trailer does have one thing going for it: it does, in fact, look a lot like a video game. Whether or not this will make people want to watch a movie, of course, rather than just fire up their console, is a different question, but the CGI towers of the city resemble nothing so much as a cutscene from the game, a feeling only heightened by the swooping camera work which is reminiscent of a player rotating the vantage point to get a better look at the next tricky jump.

As for Jake the Snake, well, he seems to have a fake accent for reasons that currently escape me, which is okay because everything that happens in this trailer is helpfully narrated by the female lead. IN other words, it's a totally by the book trailer filled with "dazzling" action shots, wads of exposition and an overview of the entire plot. Is it by Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer by any chance? Oh, look, it is.

Least surprising credits ever.




My Grades: All things considered, the trailer for the video game is actually better than the one for the movie. That's not a good sign. This gets a C-, which would be lower if the bad guy wasn't being hammed up by Ben Kingsley in full BloodRayne mode. I'll probably take a pass on this one unless I am reallllly bored next summer.



Kick-Ass
Scheduled release date: April 16, 2010

Hey, look at this: an actual comic book movie based on an actual comic book! That's almost too topical for The Vault, but at the risk of being predictable, I'm going to take a look at it anyway. As a bonus, I've managed to avoid reading the actual comic, which, to be honest, isn't the worst policy when it comes to Mark Millar. Yeah, I know, some people think he's the third coming of Jesus, but he's pretty hit or miss with me. For film people, he's also behind Wanted, so that should tell you something; whether that something is good or bad I'll leave up to the individual to decide.

I have to admit, though, that as far as trailers go, this one is a pretty solid hit. Instead of a stream-of-conscious montage of unrelated images like many trailers, this one starts with one sustained scene that takes up half the trailer and nicely sets the tone and presents the concept of the film while still being mildly entertaining in its own right. Then we do get a couple brief scenes and intros to other characters, just enough to whet the appetite without blowing the whole gig.

I'm not sure this clip is kick ass, but it's not half bad, anyway.




My Grades: This is an effective and memorable trailer. It's not Gladiator, but it's pretty good. A-.

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Movie Trailers: Alice in Wonderland and More

In today's fast paced, internet society, time spent analyzing and examining is time wasted, because there's always something new and exciting coming down the pike that is shinier, bigger and, well, newer than the last. This is especially true, of course, of the film industry, which has lasted for a century on the idea that audiences always need new product. But now the question is, who has time to watch a whole movie, much less spend precious minutes reading a review of it?

Luckily, that's where we come in with a new feature here on the Vault: Trailer Reviews. While some people believe you should actually watch the movie before you make up your mind about it, we disagree, After all, what is a trailer other than an attempt to make up your mind for you before you see the movie? But while the studios want you to have positive preconceptions about their movies, we're under no such obligation.

So sit back and check out the first batch of Trailer Reviews. Because in the time it takes you to watch one feature film, you could instead form opinions about 50 trailers. And in today's time-conscious society, which is really the better use of your precious hours?


The Expendables
Scheduled release date: August 20, 2010

The producers of this movie refer to it as a throwback and boy, they are not joking. The Expendables takes all the action, dialogue and directing cliches of a mid-80's Stallone film and pretty much doesn't change a single thing. While you might expect a production like this to be tongue in cheek, this is strictly pre-ironic territory. It's not that the people making the film don't recognize what they're doing, it's that they do recognize it and think that it's still totally awesome.

And for some fans, it probably will be. If the idea of a group of machine-gun toting mercenaries consisting of Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Jet Li fighting against the evil and vaguely foreign forces of Dolph Lundgren sounds like a treat, then this is probably the film of the century for you [yes, it's the long awaited Rocky IV rematch]. And yes, this movie also features roles by Mickey Rourke and Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Is a parody a parody if it's played straight? At last we'll get the answer to that question.



My Grades: This is probably either an A+ or an F- depending entirely on whether or not you enjoyed being an 11-year-old boy in the mid 80's. But even though I did, I still can't give this more than a D because wow does it look terrible.



Toy Story 3
Scheduled release date: June 18, 2010

And now, on a slightly different note, it's Toy Story 3. I have to confess that Toy Story, and particularly Toy Story 2, are two of my favorite movies of all time. So while I am very happy to see that they are doing a third film, I have a slight bit of trepidation, because they have a very high expectations to live up to, not just from me from from the entire movie watching world.

And after watching the trailer... I am still a little worried. Mind you, everything about it looks impeccably crafted; the art is a beautiful as ever (and this time will be in 3-D), the voice acting is all great and whatever. My concern is simply that they may be repeating themselves just a bit. The "kid has outgrown the toys" theme was done perfectly in Toy Story 2, for instance, while the characters themselves even comment on Buzz returning to the "space nut" personality he had in the first film. Of course, this being Pixar, I have to give them the benefit of the doubt, because they haven't let me down yet. I just hope that they can continue to prove that there isn't necessarily a first time for everything.



My Grades: A for execution, B- for actual content. Prove me wrong, guys!



Alice in Wonderland
Scheduled release date: March 5, 2010

Speaking of Disney films, here's a live action version of Alice in Wonderland directed, of course, by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. Now, if you're anything like me, reading that sentence probably made you so exhausted and spent by life itself that you nearly wept. But, what are you going to do, right? This movie is kind of like Nagasaki; everyone could see it coming but nobody could stop it.

Having said that, the first half of the trailer is actually pretty cool. The character design is intriguing and appropriately creepy (unlike the usual, inappropriately creepy Burton stuff), though the Queen does look a little too Shrek for my taste. The second half of the trailer, of course, is full-on Depp pimpage and should therefore be taken as a necessary marketing evil, if anything in this production can be called necessary. And the thing is, I like Depp. But this is really pushing it.



My Grades: It's an effective trailer and it doesn't give anything away since everyone knows the story anyway. So for trailer competence it gets a B. For the movie it's previewing, though... if I didn't know it was Burton/Depp, I have to admit I would probably still give it a B. But that unholy marriage is so tiresome to me at this point that I have to give it a D+. We'll see if I change my mind before the release date.

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