Game Review: Diablo 3

Diablo 3 is out. But is it a game? Or is it the most brilliant money making scam in internet history?

Movie Review: The Avengers

Okay, okay, I posted my Avengers review. Get off my back already, geez.

The Most Important Comic Book You've Never Heard Of

Action Comics #1. Detective Comics #27. Why is All-American Men of War #89 as important as these great comics -- and why have you never heard of it?.

Tales From the Vault: Lois Lane #93

If you thought Superman was a total tool before, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Mass Effect 3: The Official Review

Mass Effect 3 isn't the end of the world, it just portrays it.

Showing posts with label Herb Trimpe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Herb Trimpe. Show all posts

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Boston Comic Con Showverview

Long time readers no doubt noticed a curious and perhaps frightening lack of activity at The Vault over the past two days. Desperately -- and correctly -- needing their fix, these stalwart champions have likely begun to worry about my safety. What could be so important, so serious and potentially deadly that it could possibly keep me from talking about comics? Was it an earthquake? Was the server attacked by thirsty monkeys? Was I accidentally shunted into a dangling subplot that only Mark Gruenwald could rescue me from, twenty years after the fact? Well, rest easy, friends, because although your concern is appreciated it is unwarranted. The truth can be revealed: I was getting ready for this weekends comics extravaganza, Boston Comic Con.

Held for some reason in the basement of the Back Bay Expo Center (though I was assured that it is moving to larger and more prestigious facilities before the next show), this year's Boston Comic Con was a two day affair and featured appearances by a horde of creators both famous and unknown. It also had a decent, if somewhat compact, dealer room that provided some interesting bargain hunting; and perhaps most importantly, it provided fans of comics to let their hair down or, better yet, pull it up under a cowl or or themed headpiece. Thanks no doubt in part to the proximity to Halloween, this year's show bordered on a costume party that included not one but two female Captain Americas as well as what appeared to be a themed date night (best costumes and couple of the night was a toss up between an excellent Green Arrow/Black Canary team and an equally impressive Scarlett/Snake Eyes duo which managed to top the film versions by excluding unnecessary gigantic fake lips).

But the highlight of the day was undoubtedly the creators in attendance. Among the many notables were Cliff Chiang, Khoi Pham, Geoff Darrow, David Mack, Mike McKone and Tim Sale. However, the highlights for me involved two of the more old school artists in attendance: Herb Trimpe and Walt Simonson. Simonson, who was accompanied by his equally acclaimed and lovely wife Louise Simonson (and before you ask, no, I didn't have a copy of House of Secrets #92 for her to sign), was nice enough to spend several minutes discussing the origin of his unique signature, which he designed to look like a Brontosaurus after his mother suggested the dinosaur theme to him as a kid. Trimpe, meanwhile, talked at length about the creation of Wolverine, chalking it up to luck of the draw; out of the dozens of Hulk villains he helped create, Wolverine just happened to go on to become super popular. He also lamented the fact that Wolverine had now overshadowed the Hulk himself, even in terms of the commissions and sketches he does at shows, because he feels the Hulk is a much more complex and interesting character, more a victim of circumstance than a hero or villain, while Wolverine is just one-note by comparison. Both gentlemen were generous with their time and friendly to both hardcore fans and those new to comics.

This was evident because both of those conversation took place thank to the attendance of a friend who has never read comics much less attended a show before. While she enjoyed the creativity on display and the seemingly universal friendliness of the pros we talked to, there was one less inviting aspect of the show on display as well -- the juvenile and and many instances inappropriate depictions of women on display at just about every turn. This deserves a longer discussion (which you can expect in a future essay), but though the convention was actually well attended by women and girls, there's also no doubt that steps could certainly be taken to make both the shows and, more importantly, the comics themselves more welcoming to women readers and attendees.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the day was, as you may expect, my trip through Artists Alley. As always, I spent a good deal of time talking to the lesser known creators who self publish or work on small press books and who continue in the business because they just love comics; these people, after all, are the creative center of the art form and it is from this group of creators that the talent of tomorrow will arise. One of the highlights was mys discussion with the creators manning the Comicbook Artists' Guild booth. The CAG is an organization where independent creators meet to discuss the theory of comics craft and the practicalities of self-publishing comics in both print and online. It also acts as a way to meet with potential collaborators and get your work peer reviewed in order to hone your craft. For up and coming creators like myself, it may be an avenue worth looking into, especially if you are in the New York or New England areas, since they hold regular meetings in those locations.

Lastly, a special shout out must be given to longtime friend of The Vault, inker Bob Almond, who as always was in attendance to promote The Inkwell Awards. If you happen to be at a show with Bob, I recommend stopping by his booth with your purchases so he can diagnose at a single glance what art team -- and inker in particular -- worked on the cover. It is a singular skill that helped make this convention one of the more interesting and educational that I have attended in recent years.


Tomorrow: But wait, there's more! What would a show be without interviews with some of the creators who make comics so great? That's right, beginning tomorrow it's another batch of interviews with the Voices From Artists Alley, including a more detailed talk with the people at the Comicbook Artists' Guild.


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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Great Moments in Comics: The Strange Death of Dr. Synne

Welcome to the first installment of our all new feature, Great Moments in Comics. One of the exciting things about comics is the fact that there are just so many of them. You could spend every moment of the rest of your life reading comics and still not get through all of them (though, believe me, it's worth a try). Because of this, though, it's also a sad fact that inevitably there are going to be some all time great comics moments that you just never have a chance to even know about, much less read yourself.

Well, have no fear, because that's what Great Moments in Comics is for. Sure, everyone knows about some Great Moments, like the Fantastic Four's first encounter with Galactus or the Flash sacrificing himself to defeat the Anti-Monitor. But sometimes, even the greatest of comics moments slip through the cultural cracks and are forgotten. Not anymore, though. Great Moments in Comics will highlight some of these overlooked classics, beginning with the strange and tragic death of Captain Britain's first arch-enemy, Dr. Synne.

Captain Britain was by all accounts a bit of an odd comic to begin with. Marvel apparently was seeing some decent figures coming out of their British division, so they decided to see if they could drum up sales with a new series created for and aimed at a British audience. For this, Chris Claremont and Herb Trimpe came up with Captain Britain, a recent college graduate (or something) tasked by Merlin to protect Britain from evil. For whatever reason, the comic was published on a weekly basis rather than monthly, with reprints of SHIELD and Fantastic Four or Spider-man in the back. The stories were solid, though they tended to be a bit on the conventional side.

Then convention went out the window during Claremont's epic Dr. Synne saga. Dr. Synne was a mysterious, gaunt figure wearing a menacing blue shift and thigh-high riding boots. He appeared almost literally out of nowhere, seeming to be as much apparition as man, and right from the start had Captain Britain on the ropes, outmanned and outgunned. Dr. Synne had a number of crazy tricks in his arsenal: he could apparently teleport, he had a personal force field and he had amazing powers of the mind that allowed him to both mentally control the local townsfolk as well as cause hallucinations and illusions far beyond Captain Britain's ability to understand. Things were looking pretty bleak from our hero from the second Dr. Synne appeared on the scene.

For his part, Dr. Synne appeared to be your basic megalomaniac. His plan was to test his mental powers on the simple farm folk of Captain Britain's home town before expanding his control to the more sophisticated city dwellers. As a result of this confluence of geography, Dr. Synne ended up taking control of Captain Britain's own sister (who at this point had not yet been turned into an Asian ninja and thus was susceptible to this sort of thing). No matter what Captain Britain tried, he couldn't manage to even lay a glove on Dr. Synne, instead managing to do little more than accidentally pitch himself off a cliff, get shot in the back by a farmer and eventually wind up thrown into a bonfire. Not exactly the greatest showing in superhero history. Yes, it seemed like Captain Britain had met his match and Dr. Synne was going to win the day.

But then something happened that not even Dr. Synne's amazing powers could counter: editorial mandates. Right from the get-go, Claremont had been butting heads with his editor over the direction of the book, and by the time the Dr Synne story was in full gear, change was in the air. After just ten weekly issues, Claremont was sacked (or quit -- it's hard to tell just how this went down) and a new writer was brought in, with a new direction: Gary Friedrich, long time scribe of such Marvel mainstays as Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandoes, took over the book and immediately began turning the slightly mystical British series into a more traditional, straight-ahead superhero book.

And so, what Captain Britain couldn't manage, a writer did: the defeat of Dr. Synne. Just what Claremont had in mind for Dr. Synne, only he knows, but with Friedrich on board, things shifted almost immediately. Suddenly Dr. Synne wasn't just a criminal mastermind bent on world domination for his own egotistical satisfaction; no, now he was actually a puppet of a much more menacing modern evil -- the computer. Or, a computer. Seems like Synne actually had been given his powers from some computer somewhere and was actually a pawn himself, being used by the computer for some unknown purpose. And computers, as deadly and dangerous as they are now acknowledged to be, have one fatal failing: dependence on the local power company.

Locked in mortal combat with Dr. Synne, his every move countered and rebuffed, Captain Britain, hero that he was, seemed doomed to defeat and worse, when fate suddenly intervened in the form of an unlikely angel: his maid. You see, back in stately Braddock Manor, home to Captain Britain's alter-ego Brian Braddock and his siblings, their maid was doing her daily cleaning rounds when she happened upon the door to the basement. Nothing frustrates a good maid more than the thought of an unclean portion of the home -- a dedication to the old fashioned ethics of hard work that a twisted evil like Dr. Synne probably could never understand. Up to this point, the maid had been barred form entering the basement by her former employer, Brian's late father; but now, with the grand old man lying dead in his grave, she realized that the injunction no longer stood and so headed down into the dark depths of the computer's lair, mop in had, ready to face any scrubbing challenge that might await her.

I have taken care to set the scene, for what happened next is one of the true great moments in comics history, when the most powerful supervillain Britain has ever known was defeated and slain, not by gendarmes or the mighty hand of Captain Britain but instead by... uh... well, by an overzealous maid. Just at the moment of his greatest triumph, as Dr. Synne, in his unmatched power, was about to lay the final blow on Captain Britain and at last move forward to subdue the continent, the maid realized that having a bunch of electronics running right in the middle of her sloppy wet mopping might be a recipe for disaster. Being safety conscious, then, she did what any right thinking maid might do -- she unplugged the computer. That's right: the very computer that even at that moment was controlling and empowering Dr. Synne with its own computerized might.

Words cannot describe the scene that followed, so it's best to allow the panels to speak for themselves:
























Convinced that his foe is faking this sudden weakness as part of his cunning strategy, Captain Britain leaps forward to press his advantage. But Dr. Synne is not faking:








Mere moments later, her mopping finally done, the maid re-engaged the power switch, turning the computer back on. But it was too late: Dr. Synne was already dead, leaving a puzzled Captain Britain wondering WTF had just happened. A sentiment shared not only by the computer once it rebooted, but also by thousands of British comic book readers. The saga of the computer wouldn't end there, of course: a determined Captain Britain would rush back to the manor and help save England by unplugging the computer again. And just in time: mere days later, the Red Skull would arrive and commandeer the technology as part of his scheme to defeat his arch-enemy (and sudden Captain Britain co-star) Captain America. Because what do British kids want to read about more than the tale of how an American hero helped save England yet again?

But that well thought out business decision will have to wait for some future installment of... Great Moments in Comics!



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Friday, August 28, 2009

Tales From the Vault: GODZILLA #24

On our final day of our week-long exploration of the mad marriage between Marvel comics and their various licensed properties, we look at the second part of the battle to end all battles: Godzilla vs. the Mighty Avengers!


Details: Once again, this July, 1979 offering is brought to you by the dream team of Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe, with Al Milgrom on editor duty. I should also mention that the inking is done by Dan Green; if I don’t, Bob Almond will probably karate chop me in the face. Plus, it’s particularly important here because I’m not sure any major comic artist has ever been as influenced for good or bad by his inker as Herb Trimpe. I don’t know if this means his pencils are just bland and forgettable as some people say or if it means he’s just really solid, but the quality of his work varies wildly depending on who is inking him. Green is one of the good ones, and as a result this issue looks pretty good.

Synopsis: When last we saw Godzilla, Yellowjacket and Wasp had thoroughly cleaned out his inner ear, which tickled so much that the giant dinosaur toppled into the Hudson River. Now he’s back on his feet and ready to resume his major throwdown with the Fantastic Four, the Avengers and SHIELD. But mostly with the Avengers.

Or, rather, he’s ready to ignore all of them and knock over the Empire State building instead, because, you know. Why not, really? This is something that our heroes just cannot allow, so the Avengers, the FF and SHIELD all rush into action. All except Thor, who instead stands on a rooftop and tries to figure out some kind of strategy to beat Godzilla. Man, this would be a good time to have some brilliant tactician on your team like Captain America, huh? Too bad he’s playing Pong with Wanda back on monitor duty. Good job, Thor!

(Side note: as Godzilla walks towards the Empire State Building, he passes an office where a nice scene of sexual harassment is taking place. Ah, the swinging 70’s! Stranger, for some reason Moench decided to name the sleazy boss Jarvis. Out of the billions of names available, why would you go with one of the handful that your audience is guaranteed to identify with one of your characters? I think “Mr. Smith” might have worked a little better here.)

While Thor hurts himself trying to think, The Fantastic Four decide to actually do something, so Reed Richards comes up with his own brilliant plan: pigpile on Godzilla! This accomplishes about what you would expect, namely widespread destruction and loss of human life. Luckily, while the FF is totally bungling everything, the Avengers are around to save the people of the city, which they do in a nice segment where Thor stops some falling debris and Iron Man saves some people from a burning building. It’s always cool to see superheroes actually helping people instead of just fighting villains.

However, that’s not going to keep the Empire State Building from falling over, so it’s time for plan B. Ini a pretty awesome display of might, just as Godzilla is about to knock the building over, Thor swoops in and props it up. Thor and Godzilla then both shove on the building from opposite sides, neither able to budge the other, until finally the building itself begins to shatter under the pressure. Damn right!


So now, as Wasp says, it’s desperation time. There’s only one thing left to do: a bigger pigpile on Godzilla! This time the Avengers and SHIELD join the FF in an “all-out blitz”, leading to a thoroughly sweet double splash of Godzilla taking them all on right in the heart of Manhattan.

Unfortunately, this moment of pure comic bliss is interrupted by the whiny little snot Rob “lizard lover” Takiguchi. Freeing himself from his SHIELD captors by kicking them in the shins – man, why didn’t Hydra ever think of that? – Rob rushes out onto the Helicarrier’s… uh, helipad… and begins weeping like Kate Gosselin. While all the heroes stand around, frozen by the tenderness of this moment, Rob implores Godzilla to stop fighting and just sort of walk over there into the ocean.

Moved by the kid’s heartfelt plea – or, more likely, eager to get away from this little whinebag as soon as possible, Godzilla does just that: he turns and walks right into the ocean, vanishing forever. And, wouldn’t you know it, just as he does so, Spider-man finally shows up, just in time to take that photo J. Jonah Jameson has been screaming about for two issues. Interestingly, we never see this picture, but context clues suggest that the photo he took is actually the cover of this issue. So for everyone who wondered what Peter Parker’s award winning photography looks like, wonder no more: it looks like it was drawn by Herb Trimpe.

And that’s… THE END!

Extras: Interestingly, there’s no mention in the letter column -- or as far as I can tell anywhere else -- that this is the last issue of the series. It’s implied a few places, but not actually stated outright.

Also of interest is the Hostess Fruit Pies advertisement in this issue. It features Thing fighting the robot Torgo, a.k.a the Ultimate Weapon. You may recall Torgo from a number of storylines in Fantastic Four, most notably the Slave Pits of Kral epic in Fantastic Four #91-93, which in some ways was a precursor to the popular Planet Hulk storyline from a few years ago. It’s a bit unusual for a Hostess ad to feature such a well known villain instead of some made up nobody. All you Torgo completists, get out your checklists!

My Grades: I really enjoyed this issue, though not quite as much as the last, due mainly to the sappy ending that you could see coming from another universe. I’ve still got to give it a B+ though, with an A+ for the great (though brief) Thor/Godzilla tussle.


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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tales From the Vault: GODZILLA #23

Next up in our week long exploration of Marvel's licensed properties is a review of Godzilla #23, where Godzilla comes face to face with... the Mighty Avengers! Oh, yeah.

Details: This instant classic comes to us from the halcyon days of June, 1979. The unbeatable creative team behind it? None other than the legendary duo of Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe. Now, I know what you’re thinking: where did I leave that bottle of sleeping pills? But don’t worry, we’ll get through this together. Plus, this is actually during Trimpe’s strongest Kirbyesque era, so it’s pretty decent, and Moench has his moments as well. And, hey, it could be worse: Al Milgrom is the editor and he could have assigned himself pencils. Anyway, let’s get to it.

Synopsis: We jump right into the action (apparently continued from Godzilla #22) to find Godzilla rampaging through Manhattan. The only people who can stop him? The Mighty Ave… wait, it’s the Fantastic Four. Hmm.

Okay, whatever. Yes, the Fantastic Four – and by “Fantastic Four” I mean Reed Richards and Johnny Storm, because the others aren’t anywhere to be seen – are duking it out with Godzilla while high overhead the SHIELD Helicarrier watches the action. And by “high overhead” I mean, they’re floating about 50 feet off the ground. Maybe I should choose my words more carefully from now on.

Anyway, for whatever reason, Godzilla has become enthralled with the Helicarrier and has decided to bash it to pieces (my guess? He’s a skrull). I should also note here that this version of the Helicarrier is basically a big floating Lego; it’s little more than a big flying brick. I imagine this was much easier to draw than the original version, but it also looks like total crap compared to the awesome design the Helicarrier used to have, so I’m a bit put out by this.

Reed uses his gigantic brain to come up with an infallible solution to this problem: have the Helicarrier lead Godzilla to the river and then, I dunno… hope he’s made of salt. While Dum Dum Dugan complies with the order (no sign of Nick Fury anywhere – they probably realized Fury could have beat Godzilla with one hand tied behind his back so they had to leave him out of the story), Reed rushes off to find Ben and Sue while the Human Torch goes to summon the Avengers. That’s right, you pussies, go bring in the real heroes.

While they do this, Godzilla continues on his rampage and we meet some weepy little snot of a kid (Rob Takiguchi) who apparently loves Godzilla or something. You know the type – this kid is almost certain to save the day by making everyone realize Godzilla is gentle. Plus, judging from the name he’s part Japanese, so he probably has a leg up on Godzilla to begin with just through genetics.

At this point we get a fantastic little vignette of Godzilla approaching the Daily Bugle. J. Jonah Jameson is reading the riot act because nobody can find Peter Parker to take photos of Godzilla when the Godzilla shows up right behind him. JJJ’s response? He leans out the window and starts screaming at Godzilla, shaking his fist and warning the dinosaur not to mess with J. Jonah Jameson. It’s fantastic (go ahead, click on it to enlarge).

Of course, Godzilla basically sneezes and blows JJJ’s entire office to hell, then wanders off while, across town, the Human Torch arrives at Avengers Mansion to find them all sitting around playing Monopoly. A caption here says that this story takes place prior to the roster shake-up in Avengers #181, which makes sense; even the Avengers themselves appear to have been bored to tears by the fill-in issues that came after the end of the Korvac Saga.

Johnny quickly brings them up to speed and now we get something really interesting (well… to me, anyway). It seems that Thor is now chairman of the Avengers (which… he definitely was not during this era). We discover this because, as they rush out to fight Godzilla, he decides they need to leave people behind in case a bigger menace shows up somewhere (like… Ego the Living Planet? What’s going to trump Godzilla, exactly?) and so he assigns monitor duty to, um, Captain America and the Scarlet Witch.

In other words, we now know why Thor is rarely chairman of the Avengers, because that’s maybe the worst command decision in Avengers history. But I’m not too surprised at this, because I’m not quite sure Moench and Milgrom have a handle on the Avengers – for example, Cap says that if they need more help, he and Wanda will “come in the RAMJET.” Like, wtf, bro? The Ramjet? Jesus H. Christ.

Back aboard the Helicarrier, Kid Godzilla (who I guess is the Helicarrier cabin boy?) arrives and tells people they shouldn’t F with Godzilla. Thanks for the news flash, kid. But the Avengers are now on the scene, along with the entire Fantastic Four, so it’s time for a big league throwdown. They attack, and Godzilla begins smacking them around in a pretty beastly fashion, even flinging Thor into the atmosphere with a mighty roar.

Luckily, the Avengers have two aces in the hole (quite literally, as we’re about to see): Wasp and Yellowjacket. While everyone else makes fools of themselves, Hank and Jan hang out on a nearby windowsill and watch, talking about how tiny and insignificant they feel. Of course, in the words of Crow T. Robot, they always feel insignificant, but this is even more so. While Hank complains about being useless, Jan comes up with an idea (dammit, Jan, that’s always your mistake, isn’t it?!). The conversation goes like this:

Wasp: I just had an idea. Godzilla is already on the docks – close enough to topple into the river. If we were to fly into his –

Yellowjacket: I get it – and it’s the best idea I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.

So as you can imagine, in the next scene Wasp zooms right into Godzilla’s ear, while Hank unfortunately flies up his urethra instead. Whoops!!! Dammit, Hank, let the woman talk!

Okay, no, they both fly into Godzilla’s ear and for some reason instead of using their blaster guns or whatever, they decides to irritate him by flapping their wings really fast against his ear wall. Ew, now my wings are covered in Godzilla wax! Gross! It does work, though, if by “work” you mean “has no effect”. Oh, sure, Godzilla does fall into the river. And then in the next panel he just stands up. In other words, now we’ve got him in the river, Reed, so what exactly is the next part of your big plan? Oh yeah – there is no next part. Good one, big brain.

THE END!

Yes, that’s the end. It’s continued into the next issue which we’ll take a look at… Tomorrow!

Extras: The letter column is interesting, as the letters seem to be fairly split. There are a couple people that like the series, but most of these are kind of along the lines of “considering how terrible this comic should be, you’re not doing so bad I guess.” Not everyone is so charitable, however, as seen from this missive:

Godzilla #17 is the worst, most insulting piece of garbage on the stands.”

Yup. Also of interest in this issue is a house ad for the new Fantastic Four cartoon featuring Herbie, the Robot! It’s “the boldest, most exciting animated action series” around. Huh. I wonder how that worked out for them? There’s also a blurb welcoming Michael Fleisher to Marvel, in which they actually mention his DC stuff, going so far as to cite his “superb work on the Spectre and Jonah Hex”. And there’s a mention of another Avengers crossover the same month, into Doctor Strange #35 where they finally get around to investigating the mystery of Black Knight’s statue from Avengers #157, which was a full two years earlier.

My Grades: Despite my reservations about the creative team, I really like this issue so I’m giving it an A- overall, an A+ for the JJJ scenes, the Avengers playing Monopoly and Thor being chairman, and a F- for calling the Quinjet a Ramjet. In fact, I might give them a G for that, it’s that egregious.


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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Tales From the Vault: INCREDIBLE HULK #108

This week we dip into the Vault to take a look at a classic Silver Age Marvel: Incredible Hulk #108. Yes, even though this has the Hulk in it, I'm going to read it anyway. You can thank me for this sacrifice later.


Details: This is the October, 1968 issue of Hulk, with credits going to Smilin’ Stan Lee and Happy Herb Trimpe. As you can guess from the nickname, this is pre-NYT expose Herb Trimpe. The credits also state that Herb “longs for his phantom eagle”. Yeah, that happened to my uncle after the war when he had his eagle amputated.


Synopsis: The story starts right in the middle of some cliffhanger, continued from #107. Hulk is sinking in a pit of quicksand while The Mandarin, of all people, is standing over him declaiming like a champ. A blurb at the bottom says "It's not that we don't remember what happened last ish, but we hate to waste time explaining at a time like this! So let's hit the quicksand, querulous one... we'll backtrack as we barrel along --"

Except they never actually do this, so instead the reader has to just make up their own backstory to explain what the heck is going on. Me, I figured it had something to do with a society that hates and fears what they cannot understand. Whatever the explanation, though, Hulk ends up sinking into the quicksand, completely helpless ("Hulk's strength -- is useless!"). Finally he feels the pit wall and smashes his way out. Mandarin immediately drops a giant glass jar on top of him as though he were peaches for the winter and fills it with nerve gas, which knocks the Hulk out. As he passes out, Hulk says, "Gas! The only thing -- I can't -- fight back against...!"

Well, the only thing other than the quicksand from six panels ago, sure. Anyway, Mandarin brings out a horde of really badly colored orange looking Chinese soldiers and they grab the Hulk and implant a control device in his neck. Mandarin then unveils his plan: using the control device, he will force Hulk to attack different nations of the Earth, who will all assume that the Hulk is working for their enemies. This will cause them to launch a nuclear strike on each other, destroying all civilization, and Mandarin will rule over the rubble.

Man, that is the stupidest plan I have ever heard of. Forget the fact that there's no logical reason any nation would assume an attack from the Hulk is a sign of foreign aggression. Let's focus on the fact that Mandarin is planning to destroy the entire planet. This guy has clearly lost sight of why he became a fanatical conqueror in the first place. This is as bad as the alternate Kang from Avengers #267 and look where that got him. Heads up, dude: any second a Council of Cross-Time Mandarins could show up and blast you with the combined power of 900 rings. I can't be the only one praying for this to happen, right?

Also, the whole Yellow Peril background of Mandarin is really blatant in this issue. Besides the garish orange skin, he is sporting long, sharpened fingernails and says stuff like "Ah so!" I am not making this up. It's kind of embarrassing. So are his ridiculous green pajamas with pink pointy mask, pink boots and a giant M logo on the chest. In fact, come to think of it, this character just flat out sucks.

But, back to the story. Hulk wakes up, and Mandarin sends him off to wreck a train station, which is so very 1870 of him. Meanwhile, apropos of nothing, Nick Fury is meeting with his Soviet counterpart, a guy named Colonel Yuri Brevlov who looks exactly like a communist version of Adam Strange, or, in other words, exactly like Adam Strange.

While the two talk, they get word of Hulk's rampage, which we now see for several pages. Hulk smashes stuff and the world leaders do, in fact, start blaming each other, like a bunch of morons. I think I should mention at this point that I can't stand the Hulk and I pretty much despise his entire series.

Fury and Adam Strange get a message from Tony Stark: "Code 6!" Fury explains that Code 6 stands for the Mandarin. Uh... okay, why not. The two of them immediately change course in the rocket ship they are tooling around in and fly straight to Mandarin's castle. He's so busy gloating about the success of his terrible plan that he doesn't see them coming until their hovercraft smashes right though his viewscreen. Nice early warning system you have there, dude.

Adam Strange immediately busts the control device with a karate kick, and Hulk responds (wherever he is) by realizing he was being controlled by Mandarin. He rushes back to Mandarin's headquarters, where Fury and Strange are fighting. At one point Mandarin uses his rings to create a tiny, tiny thunderstorm over Fury, one that is literally about eleven feet tall in total. Oh wait, that's supposed to be stun gas according to Stan's dialog. Looks to me like he had no idea what Trimpe was drawing and was pretty much just guessing randomly.

Anyway, Mandarin is about to defeat Fury when Hulk smashes in, saves Fury by taking a bullet for him (or, well... it bounces off, of course. And it's not a bullet, it's some goofy ring beam). Hulk then goes ape and starts randomly punching walls like the master strategist he is. While Fury and Strange flee, Hulk actually lifts the entire castle off its foundation and smashes it in one giant piledriver move. Wow, that seems unlikely. I mean, what’s next, the entire Rocky Mountain range? Ha Ha H… wait.

And then the issue ends in the next panel -- no mention of Fury or Mandarin or what happened to anybody or whether the world leaders backed down from their war footing or anything -- with Hulk turning to walk into a sudden sunset (no joke, he actually walks off into the sunset) while saying "Somewhere there must be a place for Hulk! But until I find it, I'll keep fighting -- until I die!" Or, until you find it. Personally I vote death, preferably in #109, but that's unlikely since the next issue teaser says "The Coming of Ka-Zar!" The mere thought of that story makes me incredibly tired and bored.

THE END!


Extras: A couple of lettercolumn notes of interest. A guy writes in to say that Hulk needs a worthy mate, so he suggests that they irradiate Betty Ross with gamma beams and turn her into a female Hulk. Sounds like an okay idea, right? Maybe they could call her She-Hulk or something, I dunno. However, Stan (or whoever was answering letters as Stan at that time) pretty much gives the guy a vicious verbal kick to the nuts:

"With all the THINKING you must do to come up with a cockamamey idea like this one, who has time for reading? Hoo boy, we can see it now! "Thunderbolt" Ross's own baby girl running amuck in Macy's, pursued by the full forces of the 34th Street branch of the National Guard! Or, Fantastic dialogues on the order or Tarzan meets Jane, like: "Me Hulk; you Shulk?"

Jeez, what crawled into Stan's coffee and died? I like how the idea of a female Hulk immediately gets him ranting about women shopping.

Meanwhile, another guy writes in to say that too many of Hulk's villains are just bad versions of Hulk: big, superstrong fighter guys. Which, yeah, they are, aren't they. Anyway, this reader wants them to try to come up with some more varied villains to fight, and has this brilliant suggestion:

"For example, one life-form the Hulk may encounter could be just a cloud of intelligence, or have him do battle with an army of midgets."

You know what -- have him do both at once, and maybe we'll finally have a Hulk comic worth reading.


My Grades: C for being boring and nonsensical; F for having the Hulk in it; A- for awesome sexist and racist stereotypes and for having a full page advertisement for Avengers Special #2. That ad is better than this entire comic.

[Note: Incredible Hulk #108 does have one use; I traded it to Tom Brevoort along with some other stuff in return for Journey Into Mystery #90. So, thank you, Mr. Brevoort!]



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