Tales From the Vault: Mr. District Attorney #40

Welcome back to another Tales From the Vault, where we dig into our stash of back issues and read comics to you via the internet. Up today is an extra special treat (?), Mr. District Attorney #40, from 1954. Yes, this crime comic comes to you from the last dying moments of the Golden Age, when the comics industry was brought low by Senate hearings, Red Scare tactics and class warfare, all because of some overwrought crime and horror comics. So with that in mind, is Mr. District Attorney part of the problem? Or is it part of the solution?

One hint is that this crime book was published by DC, not EC, which for long time readers pretty much answers the question right there. I don't want to give any spoilers away before we get into the comic, but considering how blandly inoffensive and whitebread pretty much everything DC put out in the 1950's was -- a policy that allowed them to escape the Comic Code pyres unscathed -- chances are pretty slim that we'll find anything salacious in this issue. But we can hope, right?

Let's take a look!


Details: As previously noted, this issue hails from July/August of 1954, with art from Howard Purcell and scripts provided by an anonymous donor. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. District Attorney -- which I'm guessing is almost everyone -- this curious comic was licensed from a radio program. That sounds kind of strange, but it's true; back in the late 40's, DC actually licensed a whole line of radio crime dramas that they turned into comic books, including fellow titles Gang Busters and Big Town. Not only did Mr. District Attorney outlast the radio program, it also outlasted the eventual TV version as well, and by a long shot; the comic continued bi-monthly until 1959, more than a half decade after the other versions of the series had vanished.

Story One Synopsis: Ah, this is nice. Each story starts off with a little narrator's box in the voice of Mr. District Attorney (that's "D.A." to his close friends, of course. Of which he has...none). That's a nice touch, though it's not quite as cool as if the note were from the writer, a la Charles Biro's often hysterical rants in Boy Comics. But anyway.

This first story looks as though it's ripped from today's headlines: a guy is at a diner and isn't paying attention to what he's doing and the next thing you know, he's spilled hot coffee all over himself. It sucks, but what are you going to do, right? Well, how about sue the owners? I had to double check that this was 1954, and not 2004, but there's one key difference -- in this story, the people doing the stupid things all pretty much agree it's their own fault. Instead, it's ambulance chasing lawyers who convince them to sue against their better thoughts. Now, of course, we just cut out the middle man.

Coffee burn man isn't the only Clumsy Clem in town, though, and we get a nice montage of people doing dumb things like falling down escalators, grabbing electrical generators and getting sick on roller coasters. Before you can say "Starbucks," a skeevy lawyer has swooped in and convinced them to sue. But that's not all; as Mr. District Attorney learns, the lawyers then pocket the settlement money, giving the victim's only a mere pittance, which they are happy to get because they figured they would have no chance of making anything since it was all their own stupid fault.

I guess it is 1954 after all. You can tell by the naivete.

Anyhoo, Mr. District Attorney comes up with a cunning plan: he has his assistant go undercover and purposely get in stupid accidents all over town in the hopes of drawing out a bad lawyer. Well, that sounds like a really bad, random plan, but okay. And funny enough, it actually totally fails. After a long day of clutzery, the assistant finally gives up and hails a cab -- only to accidentally get dragged down the street by the cabbie, who didn't see him getting in. Whoops! And, of course, ironically, it's the real accident that the lawyers spot.

After all this setup, we suddenly get an abrupt ending, which seemed to be the style back in the day: Mr. District Attorney follows the lawyers to the cabbie's garage, where he catches the lawyer tampering with the car in an attempt to jury rig some fake proof of wrongdoing to help his case. D.A. throws him in the clink and Nameless City U.S.A. is once again safe from ambulance chasers! Justice is served!!!

THE END!


Story Two Synopsis: Things get off to a bang thanks to a suspicious fire. Luckily, Mr. District Attorney is on the scene and immediately sports the presumed perp just hanging out right there. That's always a handy way to solve crimes. Unfortunately, they have to airmail the fingerprints to Washington, D.C. in order to have his record checked and by the time they come back, the guy has already been sprung by a lawyer. Darn those inefficient 50's police techniques!

Of course, this won't do for a big cheese like D. A., so he comes up with the solution: they need to buy a new Fastphoto System to instantaneously check criminal records. The amazing device? Well, it's basically a giant fax machine! The astonishing futuristic machine is immediately put into play when a guy who looks a lot like a wanted fugitive comes into the station. The coppers only have an hour before the lawyers are allowed to free him on bail, so they need to get answers fast, see? Luckily, D. A.'s assistant is on hand to rush to a nearby town that actually owns a fax machine. After his car breaks down, he commandeers a horse and rides the rest of the way, faxes in the fingerprints and gets back the results just nine minutes and 34 seconds later: the bad guy is a crook, all right.

Meanwhile, time has expired, so the crook is being let out. Just then, though, Mr. District Attorney gets a call from his assistant with the good news and he throws the criminal back in the clink. Even better, there was a $5,000 reward for his capture, so the assistant can afford to buy a new car. being a paragon of justice, though, he decides to buy a fax machine for the town instead. Good work, son!

THE END!!


Story Three Synopsis: In this four page tale, which doesn't even have D. A. in it, a steward on a cruise ship realizes that a guy on board is smuggling diamonds inside a fake hairbrush. Naturally, the steward kills him and tosses him overboard, then absconds with the hairbrush. However, he's detained by custom's officials who realize he must be a smuggler because the hairbrush doesn't have any hair in it, so it's not actually being used as a hairbrush. Duh. They pop the false top, diamonds come out and that's all for the would be thief. I mean, that's really all, because the last panel says they executed him for murder. Can you get the death penalty for a crime that took place in international waters?

THE END!!!


Story Four Synopsis: It's The Secret of Sound Stage Seven! Okay, this one starts out with some promise: a group of suspects in an unsolved murder are brought onto a movie set, where the scene of the crime has been perfectly replicated. Mr. District Attorney explains that they are filming a short called "Famous Unsolved Murders" and for the sake of authenticity, they are having the actual participants in the movie.

Just as he is explaining this -- and as we get some exposition showing what happened during the murder, where, during the typical convenient power outage, a weighted sap apparently flew through a window and clocked the victim -- the power goes out on the stage as well! Everyone kind of panics, but the lights come back on and D. A. reveals that the experiment is over because he now knows who the killer is!

At this announcement, the killer panics even more and makes a break for it, rushing out onto the set of another movie to try and escape. D.A., thinking quickly, shouts "Cut!" and everyone except the killer freezes in place, allowing the cops to easily locate the killer in the bustle.

So how did D.A. know who the killer was? The answer: he didn't, he just set the whole thing up sop he could pretend he knew in order to scare the killer into revealing himself. And by god, if it didn't work! The fact that this is probably the shoddiest crimesolving methodology in the history of law enforcement doesn't factor into things, thanks to the happy ending, but I can't be the only one wishing he had made his grand pronouncement only to have everyone just stare at him waiting for the answer as to who the killer was. It's fortunate that crooks in comics, TV shows and movies all seem to be total dumbasses.

THE END!!!!


Extras: Compared with issues of Boy Comics form the same time period, the ads seem more contemporary for some reason. The best of the bunch is a Hostess-style mini-comic featuring Abbott and Costello approaching two kids playing marbles to prevent one of them from gambling away his valuable popsicle sticks. There's also, as usual, two text pages, this time called "The Crime File," which is an almost Reader Digest-esque rundown of wacky crime stories, true or otherwise. Best of all, there's a section touting DC's "Editorial Advisory Board," which lists prominent educators and children's experts who are no doubt listed here in an attempt to convince worried parents that this comic isn't some kind of communist evil. And we all know how that turned out.

My Grades: As a historical artifact, the comic gets a B. The ripped from the headlines topicality of the ambulance chasers is maybe more interesting now than it was at the time, while the futuristic use of the fax machine in 1954 is awesome. Though why some podunk neighbor town already has one and a big city like Los Angeles still doesn't have one is beyond me (the city is not explicitly named here, but it was clearly identified in the TV show and made plain in the comic by the presence of the movie studio in the fourth story). The actual stories, though, get a D+ because they are some of the most boring and least entertaining I have read in recent memory. Hell, the main character doesn't even have a name for Pete's sake! I do like the cover design, which I would give a B as well, but my copy is coverless so I don't even get that out of the bargain. Overall, then, my final grade for this is a C- at best.

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Crime Does Not Pay!

I know I've been teasing my awesome retrospective of the classic Lev Gleason title Boy Comics for months now, but I'm still not quite ready to present it. Still, after the runaway success of our recent Boy Comics edition of Tales From the Vault, I thought I'd at least give everyone another tease of that special Lev Gleason / Charles Biro aesthetic. Today we've got two offerings for your enjoyment, the first being this ultra-rare sneak peek behind the scenes at Lev Gleason Publications. That's right, straight out of Boy Comics #40, it's Gleason's own in-house rules for writing and drawing his line of crime comics, including the legendary, groundbreaking title Crime Does Not Pay!

Do you have what it takes to be an honest to goodness Lev Gleason comic creator? Check it out and decide for yourself:







And just what kind of classic crime storytelling can you create if you follow these simple injunctions? Just take a look at the splash page from Boy Comics #40, where the legendary Charles Biro brings it all home as only he can do (with art from Norman Maurer, better known to non-comics fans as the manager of the Three Stooges):





CRIME DOES NOT PAY!

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Breaking News: Frank Frazetta Dead at 82

In a scenario becoming all too familiar to comics fans, Comic Book Resources is reporting that one of the greatest comic artists of all time has left us, as Frank Frazetta had died at the age of 82.

Though Frazetta is best known for his magnificent fantasy paintings, dozens of which graced the covers of various novels over the years -- Frazetta's work was especially synonymous with Conan the Barbarian books -- he began as a rank and filer in during the Golden Age of comics. He quickly became a mainstay of the industry thanks to his detailed and lush linework, with his science fiction and fantasy art at EC garnering rave reviews during the mid 50's. A decade later, he began making the move to full time commercial painting, a decision that greatly expanded both his fan base and his wallet.

In recent years Frazetta had suffered a number of strokes, and according to The New York Times, a stroke is also believed to be the cause of death. Whatever the cause, however, the fact remains that another pioneer from the early days of comics has departed us. Some small solace can possibly be found in the fact that unlike many of his lesser known contemporaries, Frazetta's work has gained the kind of mainstream acclaim denied most comic artists: one of his paintings sold last year for a million dollars.

Here's a look at perhaps his most famous image, 1973's "Death Dealer." And be sure to click on both this and the above cover of Weird Science-Fantasy #29, long considered by fans to be one of the great comic book covers of the Golden Age, to see them at a more appropriate size.

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Great Moments: The Boy Comics Amputation Scheme

Welcome to another episode of Great Moments in Comics. For those of you looking for an update on my Quest to earn the title of Fearless Front Facer, there will be an exciting announcement later this week. In the meantime, I thought we'd take a step back and look at one of the forgotten great moments in comics history. Previously we've explored such legendary topics as The Strange Death of Dr. Synne, The Jon Sable Dance-Off and Sgt. Fury's Casablanca. Today, though, we look at a story that may top all of them in sheer epicness, The Boy Comics Amputation Scheme.

Now, I know I've been teasing a full review of Boy Comics for months, but while that is still in the works, this great Moment will give you a little preview of why the Crimebuster strip from Boy Comics is one of the great comics of the Golden Age.

Appearing in Boy Comics #19, with a cover date of December, 1944, we have the sad and moving tale of a double amputee by the name of Pete and his erstwhile friend Biff. Now, Biff, as we soon learn, isn't much of a friend to poor Pete at all; in fact, he's a straight up con man working his angle. Pete, as it happens, is a very wealthy double amputee, and Biff's plan is simple; by ingratiating himself in Pete's life and acting as Pete's personal chauffeur and companion, he'll be sure to get a windfall from Pete's will when Pete dies.

Unfortunately for Biff, other than missing both his legs Pete is in perfect health. And after years of toting Pete around town and carrying him up and down the long New York subway stairways every day, Biff has just about had it. So he comes up with a cunning new plan to get his money: murder. The question is, though, how to do it while escaping the consequences.

Finally, Biff comes up with an inspired ploy. Hiring a thug to act as hitman, Biff stages an accident. Lugging Pete down to his daily train ride, Biff starts a loud argument with Pete, making sure that witnesses see him, as this is his alibi. Storming off in apparent anger, Biff flicks his cigarette away, which is actually a signal to his accomplice, who "accidentally" bumps Pete while passing by, just as a train approaches the station:







"Oww," indeed. Biff's plan works perfectly; Pete is gone, it looks like an accident and a dozen witnesses are there to prove that Biff wasn't involved with the deed. All that's left for Biff to do is collect the money, so he heads over to the lawyer's office for the reading of the will. Once there, the lawyer tells him that, just as he thought, Pete had left him a fortune of $1,000,000. However, what Biff didn't know is that Pete was onto him all along. He wasn't sure how Biff would do it, but he knew that Biff would eventually not only kill him, but would do it in a way that was untraceable.

Knowing this, then, Pete put his own little scheme into play in his will. Biff would get the money, but only under very specific circumstances, namely:





Unfortunately for Biff it does say exactly that. Now Biff is in a major quandary, as the only way he can get the million dollars -- and mind you, this is a million 1944 dollars -- is to lose his legs. So, naturally, he does what any right thinking man would do -- he decides to have his legs amputated.





Apparently Biff didn't agree with the old saw that if you don't have your health you don't have anything; after all, he would, in fact, have a million clams. Sure enough, the doctor saws his legs clean off right at the hip, and after convalescing, Biff is ready to get his money. Strapping himself to a board, Biff hauls himself up to the lawyer's office again to get his money.

Just one problem: there isn't a million dollars ot get. See, it turns out that there are some major taxes that need to be paid first, not to mention lawyers fees and other deductibles. The final result of this? Biff has only $150,000 left to receive. Not exactly chump change, but hardly the fortune he had anticipated. And worse, he had already promised to pay the doctor $100k for the operation and his hitman accomplice the other $50k!

Infuriated, Biff wheels himself back to the doctor's office with the hundred G's he owes the doc. He gives the money over, but demands that the least the doctor can do in this situation is fit him with some prosthetic legs. But now Biff receives another jolt of bad news: the doctor amputated his legs too far up to attach fake legs to them, so he's doomed to spend the rest of his life strapped to the skateboard.

Unfortunately for the doctor, he delivers this news just a little to close to a giant window -- and with his ankles too close to Biff's ground level hands. Just one second and the principle of leverage is all Biff needs to reclaim his dough and get revenge for the loss of his legs:





Now there's just one loose end left for Biff to tie up: his accomplice, who is still owed $50,000. Flush from his success with the doc, Biff decides to take out the thug as well and waits for him in his apartment, gun drawn. When the guy finally arrives, Biff gets the drop on him and threatens to shoot him.

But that's where he makes his big mistake, because one second is all the time the goon needs to step forward and smack the gun away from Biff. Unable to get away due to having no legs, Biff begs for mercy, pointing out that he's a legless cripple. The thug's reply? "So you are! That's just going to make things easier!"

And saying this, he proceeds to pick Biff's legless torso up and starts throwing him around the apartment like a football!





"This is what happens to guys who hire guys to kill another guy!"

And that, sadly, is the end for Biff. Leaving Biff's bloody body on the floor, the thug grabs the cash and scrams, which is where the hero of the comic, Crimebuster, finally makes an appearance, only 14 pages into the tale. He gets to Biff just in time to hear Biff describe his assailant with his dying breath. Crimebuster recognizes the description as the man he just passed coming into the building, so he rushes out and chases the thug through Central Park, eventually tackling him into a nearby fountain and pummeling him until the thug confesses his crime.

But it's too late for Biff, who learns too late that greed can not only cost you your life -- it can also cost you your legs and your dignity.


Be here next time for another Great Moment in Comics!

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Pearl Harbor in Comics

December 7, as you may know, is a day that will live in infamy, as today we mark the 68th anniversay of the attack on Pearl Harbor. On Sunday, December 7, 1941, a horde of Japanese attack planes descended on America's Navy outpost at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii and launched a suprise attack that left the U. S. fleet decimated, thousands of sailors dead and America faced with sudden entrence into World War II.

Less importantly, however, the day also had a significant impact on a burgoening artform that was just taking hold in the National consciousness: comic books. When the attacks on Pearl Harbor occured, comics were just getting into full swing, thanks to the surging popularity of the superhero genre. Since the debut of Superman three years earlier in 1938, comics had taken hold and were growing to become one of the most popular and ubiquitous forms of entertainment in the country. And that growth was unquestionably hastened and bolstered by the beginning of the war.

World War II was a watershed time period for comics not only artistically -- stories featuring superheroes battling Nazis and other Axis menaces became so synonymous with the genre that the period is now known as the Golden Age of comics, with the influence of those stories still being felt in just about every page of modern superhero books -- but also commercially. GI's on the front had little in the way of entertainment to speak of, except for comics, which were cheap enough to ship in bulk and lightweight (and disposable) enough for soldiers to read on the go. It's estimated that up to 90 percent of American troops received comic books while overseas, with tens of millions of comics in circulation among the armed forces alone.

Thanks to that, when the soldiers returned home form the war, they brought with them their new wartime habit: reading comic books. Sales boomed even more, with ever more mature subject matter catering to a now adult reading population that had left superheroes behind, a trend that eventually led to the witch hunts and comic burnings of the 1950's and the collapse of the industry.

All of that, then, indirectly stems more or less from the attack on Pearl Harbor. But if Pearl Harbor had such an effect on the comic business, what kind of effect did it have within the pages of the comics themselves?

Interestingly, comics and stories set during Pearl Harbor have been fairly uncommon. There have been, for instance, historical depictions of the attack (such as in Antarctic Press's Pearl Harbor: the Comic Book) and special commemorative editions honoring the fallen heroes (1942's Remember Pearl Harbor, for example), but compared to many historical events, there have been relatively few cameos by comic book characters. While I'm sure there have been a few here and there, my research hasn't turned up a whole lot other than the usual suspects (such as the fact that Sgt. Fury and his best pal Red Hargrove were predictably stationed at Pearl Harbor during the attack, where Red was killed in action).

Perhaps the most interestnig appearance of Pearl Harbor in comics, then, was in National Comics #18, where Uncle Sam daringly helped fight off a deadly attack on the naval base... by Germany. Yes, strangely enough, this issue, featuring a cover story depicting a surprise attack on Pearl harbor, actually showed a fictional version of events, but for a good reason: the comic came out in November of 1941, before the attacks happened. With a cover date of December, the story (which was featured here on the Comics Should be Good blog) detailed what seemed like pure fiction at the time -- an Axis attack on neutral America's Pacific stronghold. In an eerie foretelling of Japan's strategy, the story also detailed how the Axis would us simultaneous attacks on other Pacific bases as well, including Guam, to shock and surprise America with one massively co-ordinated offensive.



Unfortunately, those soliders and sailors who faced the real attacks in the early days of December, 1941, didn't have superheroes like Uncle Sam or the ghost of John Paul Jones to help them out. But while stories like those in National Comics #18 have become little more than historical curiosities, we as a nation should do just what the comics tell us to do, and always Remember Pearl Harbor.

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